The surveyor that wasn’t

I’ve been avoiding writing this, so infuriating is the whole thing, but I’m on to the next bit now, and if I don’t want to nullify the blog I suppose I better had.

So, as you know, if you read the last entry, everything went eerily quiet. I knew something wasn’t quite right, and so it proved to be. I received an email from my potential buyers telling me that it was with deep regret they’d decided to pull out as the surveyor’s report indicated too many things to be done. They’d also sent me his report, and how much he’d charged them (a ridiculous amount).

My first instinct was to send them a snotty email in return, but after speaking to a family member and looking through the report I thought better of it. Because it transpired the surveyor didn’t appear to actually be a surveyor, and reading between the many lines of his report, he’d not actually checked anything, didn’t find anything wrong, but suggested they get a load of expensive specialists in to check what he was unable to.

It had seemed odd when he was here. He hadn’t brought a damp meter, the most basic tool of any surveyor. He hadn’t brought a torch to see in dark places, or a ladder to get to them. In the report he’d made reams of incorrect claims, like when the extension was built (I’d told him, and could have shown him evidence), that things needed doing which had been done when I moved in 7 years ago, that things had happened to the house that were literally a physical impossibility, and all sorts of scaremongering drivel. He hadn’t checked the most basic and obvious things even I could have done. I could see why my buyers were so freaked out, even though if you had good comprehension skills, beyond a few claims he’d made which were rubbish which they couldn’t possibly have known, he’d tried to bamboozle with jargon and nonsense. If you read it carefully it actually said he hadn’t found anything wrong with it other than a couple of loose slates on the roof, and that it was worth what they were offering.

So I replied to them, taking most of the points he’d raised and explaining the facts. I also sent them a copy of the RICS approved survey from when I’d moved in. I hadn’t got anything to lose.

Very quickly I got an email back from them saying they’d thought something wasn’t right, that he almost always chose numpties for such things, and that they still loved the place and wanted to go ahead after all. They phoned me the next day to confirm that. I guess building a good relationship with your buyers (which is much harder if an agent does all the viewings) is worth its weight in gold.

However, they still haven’t got their house on the market, and probably won’t have until the end of June. They don’t seem to quite get the process, having lived where they do for more than 30 years. They’ve already lost three houses doing it this way. So while I’d still be happy to sell to them, I decided that now I would also go with a traditional agent because the online one hadn’t proved much use, and anyway, I can’t hang around indefinitely. I have no idea how long they’ll take to sell, and ideally I want to be in Kent before a certain time, for reasons I’m not going into here.

So the next instalment will be about the new agents, which has already begun. I bet you can’t wait to hear all about it. Or maybe not…

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